Love Filled Shoes

I don’t know why I woke up at 4:30 a.m. this morning but when I did I was in pain. Usually when I sleep at night the swelling in my legs decrease. This morning it felt like the fluid and calves where going to burst out of the skin every time I touched them.

So what is the cure for water retention. I don’t think there ever will be a cure but here are some suggestions. The first one is a manditory suggestion and that’s to go see a Doctor. As the eHow post says there could be something wrong with the heart, glands, kidneys and etc.

Other suggestions include eating cucumbers, watermelon, celery, and fruits that have a large water content. I’m going to try elevating my legs when I’m sitting and eating these things. If these items, exercise, and drinking water do not help then I’ll head to the doctors.

Ok, let me wipe the tears from my eyes before I short circuit my keyboard. I think I need to start watching Extreme Home Makeover more, especially when I need a dose of inspiration. Tonight Ty and the crew built a home for the Hughs family. I have to say that whole family is absolutely inspirational.

Most people would consider Patrick Henry Hughes disabled. That’s a shame because they are only looking with their eyes and not the other senses that were given to them. It really makes me ashamed to sit here and think that I have problems and can’t get past the roadblocks when a 19 year old is having a full life even though he is blind, has physical boundaries, and is bound to a wheelchair.

It’s just more proof that I can achieve anything I put my mind to. My life and body may not be 100 percent perfect but I can live a full and productive life no matter what I’m dealing with. As of now, I will be taking steps towards the things that I want to do in life no matter what my size is. Of course there are going to be some issues and situations that I’m going to have to work around but I’m not hiding in the house any longer.

I hope that you will watch The Hughs Family episode and become inspired like I did. Don’t let anything hold you back from achieving the things that you want to do in life.

I received a comment and a link to a blog yesterday that really spurred me to think about how I feel about my own body, my views of society, and what I am trying to express on Loved Filled Shoes. I must confess that I am on the FA (Fat Acceptance) Fence. I’m leaning farther towards a FA world but not completely over the fence.

I guess you can say that I’m having a complete Hyde and Seek experience. One part of me wants to accept people of all sizes and limits. I believe that people should be judged by thier knowledge, life experiences, and personality. I also believe that if people put thier mind to it they can achieve anything no matter what size they are.

If this is what I believe then why does the other side of me not accept it? It’s not that I can’t accept it for other people. I can’t sit here and judge someone if they are carrying extra fat but thier health is in good condition. Why can I not accept it for myself? I have a good mind, a good personality, and have many life experiences to share.

I honestly think that it will take some weight loss and internal searching before I can become a true FA woman. My body size is putting limits on my life that I do not like. Though I do not health problems, I am dealing with loss of energy, loss of stemina, loss of drive, and a smidge of self anger. 

So till I can fully accept myself as a woman who has energy, stemina, drive, and love, I will always be on the FA Fence.

Lately there has been a lot of talk about the moms, dads, aunts, and uncles that are living to the ripe age of 100+. I have to admit that I sit on the fence when it comes to the decision of if I want to live to that age. My Grandmother lived till she was 92 and I still wonder if I want to add another ten to twenty years onto my life.

The study goes to show that people in Okinawa are living a very long time through a diet of fish, vegetables, corn, buckwheat, and mushrooms. That’s great and all but the culture in Okinawa is different than it is in the United States.

My honest question is who is going to take care of me when I’m in my 90’s and 100’s. People in the United States just do not seem to respect people of older ages. Families seem to put thier elderly away in facilities as if they were problems and not people. I’m not saying that all families and facilites are like this but I’m sure we have all read the horror stories.

What kind of quality of life am I going to have? As I said before my Grandmother lived into her 90’s but to me her life wasn’t that great. Grandma was stuck in her home because of nagging leg problems with television and her knitting as her only company.

Though I do have to say that this generation of elders is quite different than the generation that my Grandmother was in. Men and women are into breaking the mold, setting new hieghts, and really pushing themselves in thier elder years.

So right now I still stand on the fence when it comes to the decision of life in my 100’s. Who knows maybe sixty years from now that generation of elders will be far healthier and active than the current.

It honestly sounds like a movie title but this is true life. My husband and I possibly have eight more weeks to live in our apartment. We can thank the economy and other factors for that. Mostly because there are just not enough high school graduate jobs out there. When a person lives in the silicon valley its almost as if it’s Baccalaureate degree or bust. At times even those with Baccalaureate degrees go bust.

I’m really hoping for the best. I’m praying is some way that we both find employment or that one of us finds employment to pay all the bills. It’s not that we are not looking for employment. I did an estimate and it looks like both Michael and I put in nearly 400 resumes each month that we are unemployed. It’s just a very hard market out there for the employee.

At times I feel that my weight and health condition has a lot to do with the financial and employment struggle that we are dealing with today. I know that if I had a thinner body, companies would be more apt to hire me. Why? I guess companies think that thinner people will be able to do the bending, filing, and movements longer than a larger person would. I also know that if I had a thinner body then I would be able to fit into the free office clothing that the organizations and churches would give out.

Thank God that tomorrow is a new day and that I can forgive myself for messing up so badly. I am able to take the steps forward towards losing the weight, obtain office clothes, obtain employment, and obtain a better education so that I have a smaller chance of unemployment happening again.

This morning Rueters reports that Supermodel Gisele Bundchen is one of the highest paying models in the world. I’m sure that Gisele Bundchen and her love Tom Brady are walking in love filled shoes. So the question is “With a 35 million dollar paycheck each year, how much is sewn out in love for mankind?”

It looks like the lovely Gisele has no problem showing love to charities that deal with hunger and children. It is reported that the Supermodel dished out $150,000 to Brazil’s Zero Hunger Program. Zero Hunger or officially known as Fome Zero is a government agency that is working on preventing hunger in the children of Brazil’s poorest neighborhoods.

It’s not only about Brazil either. Gisele Bundchen has donated her time and money to St. Jude’s Childrens Research Hospital. St. Jude’s is one of the largest medical charities that is driven to find cures for severe children illnesses.

If you would like to make a difference in the life of children there are several ways that you can get involved with St. Jude. The easiest is to make a monetary donation at their website. You can also volunteer your time and efforts in various St. Jude events. While your there read the great story about Jesse and Corvette Fans for St. Jude. 

Did you see the yahoo clip on the woman that is trying to steal the English crown? I don’t mean the Queens crown but a beauty pageant crown. She is the first woman to brave the sea of ultra thin woman with a body that is curvaceous.

I have to say right on! It’s about time that these pageant shows start having people of all shapes and sizes. It’s a shame that the gals overseas were the first ones to do it though. No matter it really is a statement for all women.

If there is something out there that you want to do and achieve then go out and do it. Do not let your skin color, sexuality, body size be a block for what you want to achieve.

As of this morning everyone is picking on Paula Abdul. Last night on American Idol Paula proved that she was not paying attention by critiqing two songs. The problem is that the contestants had performed only one Neil Diamond classic.

That’s ok! Even when the woman’s head is not in the right place we know that her heart is in the right place. Paula has and is involved with several charities that deal with animal rights, humanitarianism, and peace.

A few of these charities are:
Clothes Off Our Back
In Defense of Animals
Leeza’s Place
NEDA (Eating Disorders)
Peace Alliance
The Rescue Train

There are several ways that you can help “Clothes off our backs” generate finances for children’s charities. Currently this organization is holding three very special auctions.

Ulumni from “Project Runway” have designed pure and natural bags to be auctioned off to the highest bidder. So far $700 has been put in as bids for various designs. The auction ends tomorrow so don’t forget to check the site out and bid on something that you like.

Lots of love to those people that have donated time and money to all the organizations that I have mentioned above. You are changing the world!

I guess they call this “Murphy’s Law” Whatever can go wrong will go wrong. I went to bed last night ready to jump on my walking program or at least get out into the cool Spring air. This morning I wake up and find that I have a sore throat and a sore right ear.

I’m still going to try to get out there for a walk. I don’t know how my throat or ear is going to deal with the 56 degree Spring weather that we are having but I have to do some kind of activity today. If I don’t get a walk in today I will be getting dishes, floor sweeping, and floor mopping in today.

I’m sure that if you are reading this, you have heard this phrase over and over again. You might have said it yourself a couple of times. “I am so sick and tired of being this big” Unfortunately it’s all true. I honestly believe that my large amount of weight is a large cause of my illness and muscle problems.

When I was active I did not deal with swelling in my feet. I think I got sick only once a year. I also did not deal with being tired all the time. I can say that I’m looking forward to getting my energy level back.

The first woman is my mother of course. Over the years the relationship between my mother and I had not been good. I think she was too stressed out trying raise a child on her own and I was looking for too much attention being a single child with a single parent. My mom has a rough life yet she was able to raise a child on her own.

If you have been watching Dancing with The Stars, you know that there have been three women who have been fighting to stay on the show while dealing with issues that the world has given them.

Marissa Winokur is on the show to prove that you can be any size and still be a smoking dancer. I think she’s done a great job with each week. Though I still think she is dealing with acceptance and body issues but she’s still out there doing her best.

Marlee Martin has said herself on national television that she is profoundly deaf. Yet she still dances to music that she can’t hear and impresses the judges. I love Marlee Martin because even though life has handed her something that people think is a disability she presses on and is excited about life.

Priscilla Presley proves week after week that age is just a number. I’m a true believer that age is just a number. Women can be excited about life, own thier own business, and still look great at any age.

Last but definitely not least is Mrs. Martinez of Albuquerque New Mexico. She has faithfully followed her husband to one of the worst neighborhood in New Mexico to help the community and build a church. A woman that can put fear aside, have faith in God, and have faith in her husband is a strong woman.

The reason why I shared the small part of these womens lives with you is because I want women to see that they can do all things. It doesn’t matter what life throws at you, you have the strength to overcome it.