Love Filled Shoes

I received a comment and a link to a blog yesterday that really spurred me to think about how I feel about my own body, my views of society, and what I am trying to express on Loved Filled Shoes. I must confess that I am on the FA (Fat Acceptance) Fence. I’m leaning farther towards a FA world but not completely over the fence.

I guess you can say that I’m having a complete Hyde and Seek experience. One part of me wants to accept people of all sizes and limits. I believe that people should be judged by thier knowledge, life experiences, and personality. I also believe that if people put thier mind to it they can achieve anything no matter what size they are.

If this is what I believe then why does the other side of me not accept it? It’s not that I can’t accept it for other people. I can’t sit here and judge someone if they are carrying extra fat but thier health is in good condition. Why can I not accept it for myself? I have a good mind, a good personality, and have many life experiences to share.

I honestly think that it will take some weight loss and internal searching before I can become a true FA woman. My body size is putting limits on my life that I do not like. Though I do not health problems, I am dealing with loss of energy, loss of stemina, loss of drive, and a smidge of self anger. 

So till I can fully accept myself as a woman who has energy, stemina, drive, and love, I will always be on the FA Fence.